DEAR PROSPECTIVE BOOKER

I never use this. Who the fuck uses their website regularly? Who the fuck visits anyone's website? I listened to The Monitor by Titus Andronicus 5 times this week, I have never once thought "I should check out their website regularly, I bet it's a great way to keep up with my favorite Artists™." That's why I forgot to inform the ghosts in here that I was going on tour. I just got back from what me Chris Cubas and Josh Androsky were calling History's Greatest Monsters. We hit Memphis, St Louis, Kansas City, Denver, and Los Angeles™. There was karaoke, old men on acid, karate, karataoke, Ben Kronberg, weed, slides, jokeoke, tears, tears for fears, and yelling. It was tight. Anyways my record Humours is coming out soon. You(?)'ll get the joke when you see the album art. BYE GHOSTS.